


You Don't Have To Read My Mind (to know what I have in mind)

by ElisabethMonroe



Series: Bucky Barnes Likes Competency (And Sam Wilson) [2]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Captain America Sam Wilson, Commander Rogers, Competence Kink, M/M, Office Sex, POV Outsider, Quinjet Sex, Telepathy, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElisabethMonroe/pseuds/ElisabethMonroe
Summary: In which:Bucky and Sam have to settle an intergalactic parking disputeAnd Bucky gets caught with his pants down twice in two different ways
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Series: Bucky Barnes Likes Competency (And Sam Wilson) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757749
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	You Don't Have To Read My Mind (to know what I have in mind)

It was Nico’s third day as a Shield intern with the Avengers. He hadn’t actually met anyone interesting yet, except Nick Fury who had stormed into Nico’s shared office to shout at Nico’s boss about an incorrectly filed assignment sheet. Unfortunately, filing assignment sheets was Nico’s new job and it was not a warm welcome.

Still, it was a little interesting to read the sheets from superheroes and their sidekicks about how missions went down. The office had a betting pool over how many lies were in each sheet and which part was a lie. Angela, a second year intern vying for a temporary position, knew someone who knew someone on the team--Barton, maybe--and she could usually wrangle the truth out within a week or two.

Nico had mostly dealt with Sam Wilson’s reports so far. There was a backlog in them, since the Winter Soldier was a notoriously terrible writer, at least on anything with a deadline, and had a known derision for assignment sheets. Supposedly the intern dealing with Captain America’s reports was scared off three weeks ago by the Winter Soldier demanding to know if he was another ‘shit-for-brains, regurgitative, low-level-wannabe-nazi who wanted mission reports from him’ which had prompted Fury to come down on the Winter Soldier about the lack of assignment reports that he’d actually turned in anyway. So Nico had three weeks, plus backlog, plus random debriefs from missions dating back to Steve Rogers’ time.

“Hey,” Nico said, leaning his chair out the wall of his cubicle to call to the girl next to him, “Do you think the Winter Soldier lies in his reports?” he asked.

The girl, a blond whose name began with an H--Hannah? Harvie? Halsey?--leaned back too so Nico could see her shrug. “I dunno. I have a friend who works in medical and she said he doesn’t talk at all, unless someone hits his bone in patch up.”

Nico cringed and made a face. “Why would Sam Wilson put up with him then? They sound like total opposites.”

“I dunno. Maybe he’s a masochist. Most people just assume Rogers made the Shield and the Soldier a package deal when he retired.”

“I thought the Winter Soldier was recovered. Why won’t Fury send him on his own missions? I mean, he’s in all of Wilson’s reports. They don’t go anywhere separately.”

“Would you send the Winter Soldier out on his own?” Hannibal(?) asked. “Wilson’s probably just got the best grip on the leash. I heard even Fury can’t control the Soldier. Wilson and the Soldier go back ages, from before the Snap.”

Nico shivered again, goosebumps racing up his spine. He’d only been ten when it happened and there had been as much time since the Re-Coming as he’d had before, but the trauma of it all still sat heavy on the world. “Wilson was one of the people who brought down HYDRA, who freed the Soldier,” he agreed. “I guess it makes sense. Still, that’s a lot of firepower to keep them together.”

Harry (?) shrugged again. “Why do you ask? Do you have a juicy report? Captain America reports can be fun sometimes. Wilson’s a great guy.”

Nico looked at the report in his hands and shook his head. “No, it just says they were working diplomacy on a ‘parking dispute’ with an alien race. The Soldier said there was a translation issue and that he’d be filing a complaint against Commander Rogers.”

“ _ Against _ Commander Rogers?” Harper (?) repeated. “No way. The Soldier’s up Rogers’ ass.” She laughed when Nico blushed violently. “No, seriously. You should see the old reports from before the Snap. Those two are crazy together. There’s no way he’s upset with Rogers. He just mistyped it or something. Maybe he’s half illiterate. Do you think ‘school’ existed when they were kids?”

Nico frowned and rolled his eyes. “Yes, schools existed in the 20s and 30s. I’ll make a note of it, I guess. Fury can take it up with the Soldier if he wants.”

~ ~ ~

As soon as Bucky had stepped out of the quinnjet, he felt like he was choking to death in the heat. The sand was fine and whipped around the air, disturbed by the plane, and he lifted his arm to shield his eyes from both it and the sun. A few meters away, a delegation of aliens and Shield-suits waited for him and Sam. Bucky discreetly checked that the crease lines on his cheek from sleeping on Sam’s chest the whole ride over were really gone.

Sam secured the shield on his back, hiding the jet-pack. Every piece of intelligence they had suggested this conversation wouldn’t require sudden evacuation.

“Captain,” one of the Shield-suits said, holding out his hand. “Mr. Barnes.” He nodded at Bucky as Sam shook his hand. “I want to say thank you for coming out to handle this. I always trust the Avengers to send their very best.”

“The best and Barnes,” Sam said with a grin. To their side, a Skrull was spitting out alien translations. Bucky felt like he knew her, but she was wearing a face he hadn’t seen. She shot a grin at them and carried on. Bucky figured she must be explaining the joke because it took a few extra seconds. Linguistics was a bitch.

Sam turned to the alien leader, if the size of the boney crown on its head was anything to go by, and asked, “Can you tell me what the issue is here?” even though they’d been debriefed thoroughly by both Steve at home and the files on the ride over.

The alien spoke and the Skrull translated. “We’re on a caravan vacation across the Milky Way. Most of our young adults have never been to the Milky Way and we wanted to show them the life here. We didn’t realize Earth had become so advanced. There were only Lizards last time I came on my own caravan. We landed the same place we always do.” The Skrull mimicked the alien’s gesture to the line of ships sitting in the sand behind them. They stretched well past Bucky’s sight.

“It’s not a battalion, right? Pretty lady like you, I know you didn’t mean for it to look like an invasion,” Sam said with an easy grin.

The alien squawked in indignation and shook her head, rattling a defense off quickly. The translations carried on and Bucky zoned out because he hated diplomacy missions. He was not known for his tact and really the only reason he was here was because he’d threatened to shove the shield up Steve’s ass if he sent Sam out on a mission on his and Bucky’s anniversary.

Though, Bucky had to give it to Sam. He looked damn good on diplomacy missions. Even the suit was different than his normal battle gear. A little thinner, a little smoother, a little  _ tighter _ . Bucky let his eyes rest appreciatively on Sam’s ass and wondered if he knew anyone in costuming well enough to ask for them to make a suit with an easy access crotch patch. Like old long johns. He wasn’t really particular about whether it was on the front or the back. It had to be stealth suit colors though.

He tuned in long enough to hear Sam explain how the aliens couldn’t park their whole fleet on Earth like that--maybe on Mars with smaller groups coming in for tours individually--before he tuned back out. Sam talked with his hands a lot, which meant his arms were flexed and with the short sleeve suit jacket, Bucky got to watch his muscles strain and his long fingers curl around the air and he thought about how soon would be too soon to let Sam bend him over something in the jet when they got to go home, to put those fingers to good use.

_ God _ , he thought to himself,  _ I’d give him a blow job right now against the negotiation table _ . Sand or no sand. He’d learned in Wakanda that he wasn’t actually a fan of outdoor sex, but he could make an exception when Sam looked so good controlling the situation.

The alien leader repeating something several times over had Bucky jarring back to reality, fingers twitching towards his gun in case it was an upset repetition. He looked over at the Skrull and jumped a little to find the Skrull not wearing the face she had been. Or any face at all. She was just herself, which Bucky knew from experience meant she was shocked.

“Um, I know you didn’t say anything like this, but Commander Xandenia is asking what a...blow job is.”

Sam turned slowly on his heel and Bucky’s eyes tracked from his ass up to his glare. “What the fuck did you do, Barnes?” he asked between his teeth.

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t say anything!” he defended, holding up his hands. “I’ve been standing back here silent this whole time.”

“And? What were you thinking about?”

Bucky balked and looked around comically. “What does it matter? I didn’t say anything!”

“They’re telepathic, Barnes!” Sam shouted, throwing his arms around again and distracting Bucky all over. He heard the Skrull and the alien--Xandenia, kickass name--giggling behind them.

“What?! How was I supposed to know that?!”

“It was in the files! I’m gonna kick your ass into next week! If you ruined--”

“Commander Xandenia says Mr. Barnes didn’t ruin your peace talks. She says she’s very glad her generals aren’t the only elite military team to argue like this about mission files. She says...that she agrees with Mr. Barnes that you’re very handsome. For a human.”

A blush so heavy that Bucky could see it spread across Sam’s cheeks as he turned back around. “I’m so sorry, Commander. The Avengers aren’t normally like this.  _ Humans  _ aren’t normally like this. Barnes is my--”

“I told her already,” the Skrull said with a satisfied smile. “Fury told us to start warning people when you two are together.”

Sam glared at Bucky some more. “You’re ruining my career.”

Bucky shrugged helplessly.

“Um, not to break the moment, but Commander Xandenia still wants an explanation. Apparently Mr. Barnes thinks in images so she kept up with all the rest but--”

“All the rest?! What all did you think, Barnes?!” Sam shouted.

Bucky shrugged again, just as helpless. “I got distracted! You were handling things so well and I....” He made a squeaking noise and shrugged because words weren’t enough here.

“You and your fucking competency kink! I’m going to fuck up a few missions just for you to get it washed out of your system!”

“But he only thought the blow job thought. He didn’t imagine it,” the Skrull said quickly. “Your dignity may still be in tact, Captain.”

Sam groaned and brought his hands up to his face before turning around. “Tell her it’s a sexual act involving the mouth. That’s it.”

The Skrull made a face. “Humans are disgusting.”

Barnes missed the translation in favor of running back into the jet to avoid getting beaned in the head by the shield. He didn’t think Sam would jeopardize the mission like that, but then again…

When two of the suits piled into the jet, he grabbed them both by the collars. “Not a word of this to Rogers. Nothing about any of that in your reports,” he growled.

He was less brave when Sam came in, but it turns out he didn’t have to worry for very long.

As it turns out, before they lifted off wasn’t even too soon, it wasn’t soon enough.

~ ~ ~

“Rogers, I’m gonna kick your old-man ass!” Bucky shouted before the door had even closed behind him.

Steve looked up from his desk, eyes flickering between Bucky’s glower and Sam’s snickers. “Gee, Buck, tell me how the mission went,” he said, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. Bucky refused to let himself get distracted by the entire ‘Daddy’ package in front of him with thick arms over a thick chest and bright silver hair and that stupid fucking stealth suit look alike. That mission had really fucked his head over. Like getting caught had put him in a permanent state of being-aware-how-horny-his-thoughts-were.

“You remember how you sent me and Wilson out to the middle of the desert to fry our asses off over some stupid fucking misunderstanding that any low-level moron could’ve handled?”

Steve nodded. “I figured you two needed a break from your six week stint in Bulgaria,” he said.

“Thanks,” Sam said before Bucky could continue his tirade. “I appreciated it. It was fun.”

“A friendly civilization doing a galaxy tour, you’d said. No possible hick-ups, you’d said. Just get their spaceships out of the Sahara, you’d said.”

“I remember, Buck.”

“That’s all you’d told us!”

A smile twitched at the corner of Steve’s lips and a second later he was ducking out of the way of the stapler Bucky had thrown at his head.

“You knew they read minds!”

“The Shield files suggested they may be able to, but nothing was confirmed. It was in the information packet I gave you. Didn’t you read it?”

“Reading hadn’t been invented yet when he was a kid,” Sam said, batting away Bucky’s hands when they went for his neck.

“Funny, I managed to master it anyway.”

“You’re smarter than him.”

“Tell me what happened and we’ll figure out how to write your report.”

“I’m not writing a fucking report on this.”

~ ~ ~

Nico had stayed later than Hazel (?) and all the other interns in his office. Even his boss had left for a long weekend. He’d set a goal for himself to meet before he left for the weekend--a third of the reports read and filed--and he refused to leave until he’d done it. That didn’t mean he couldn’t sneak into his boss’s office and sleep on the military cot she had in it for a few minutes.

Well, he would sleep if the door to the main space hadn’t opened and set off the motion sensor lights. Nico didn’t panic. His boss had said they could use his office whenever they needed for stuff like this. He did lift his head to look out the window at who had come back.

Except it wasn’t his boss, or Angela, or Haylee (?). The Winter Soldier was stalking through their cubicles, flicking his metal fingers against the nameplates on the walls as his boots thudded on the floor with each step. He looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

“Barnes!” someone snapped from the doorway, opening it again. Nico glanced over to find Sam Wilson hurrying through the space and occasionally righting something the Winter Soldier had knocked over. “You can’t be in here!”

“Get fucked,” the Soldier said and finally paused outside of Nico’s cubicle. He traced his fingers over Nico’s name and Nico saw his whole life flash before his eyes. Was he on the Winter Soldier’s hit list? What did he do to piss Fury off that badly? He hadn’t even filed anything yet.

Oh, God, had he pissed Captain America--well, Steve Rogers--off? Helena (?) had said Rogers had control of the Soldier, not Fury. Nico would be more upset if Steve Rogers hated him than if Nick Fury did.

Sam Wilson came up next to the Soldier while he refiled through Nico’s desk, undoing hours of organization and coding. “People still name their kids Hattie?” Wilson asked with a genuine furrow in his brow.

“I made out with a girl named Hattie once,” the Soldier said without looking up. “It was Memorial Day weekend. Steve was gettin’ sick off hotdogs and Hattie and I took the ferris wheel and got stuck at the top.”

Nico could see Sam Wilson roll his eyes from across the room, but he was too shocked at hearing the Soldier talk about something so normal and mundane. He hadn’t really considered the Soldier might’ve had a life and done normal things. In fact, he’d kind of fallen into the habit of thinking of him as a cyborg. Or a full on robot.

“Here. That stupid fucking Sahara mission,” the Soldier said, pulling several pages free and adding it to the stack in his right hand that Nico hadn’t even noticed. The Soldier reached down and Nico jumped about three feet into the air when a loud whirring erupted through the room until he realized the Soldier had just turned on Nico’s shredder. When Nico saw the Soldier again, the papers were gone.

“That’s fuckin’ treason, man,” Sam Wilson said and shattered just a bit of the all-american image Nico had of Wilson.

“You want Fury to know you told an alien queen--”

“Commander.”

“--what a blow job is?”

Nico’s eyebrows shot up so quickly, it gave him a tension headache. He brought his hands up to his mouth as if the Soldier or Wilson could hear his breathing.

“Remind me whose fault that was?” Wilson said.

The Soldier shoved Wilson up against Nico’s cubicle wall and Nico almost jumped up to play hero. As if he could take the Winter Soldier. As if Captain America needed his help.

“The way I remember it, you were wearing an old suit that hadn’t been adjusted for that fuckin’ ass,” the Soldier said, crowding up against Wilson’s chest. “Which makes it your fault.”

“Uh-huh,” Wilson said, sounding unimpressed even as his hands went to the Soldier’s waist.

“I could remind you other ways,” the Soldier suggested. “What was it you said?” he asked, leaning forward to get his mouth near Wilson’s neck. Nico panicked again for a second, thinking the Soldier was going to tear Wilson’s throat out until Wilson groaned. “A sexual act that involved the mouth?” He slowly sank below Nico’s eyeline, keeping his mouth near Wilson’s body.

Nico was a fucking idiot. He slid back down in the cot, hoping he was completely out of sight and that it would keep Wilson and the Soldier out of sight too. Wilson groaned again and Nico brought his hands up to his ears.

An hour later, after he’d heard the doors shut and then waited for the motion lights to go off again, Nico crawled out of the cot and quietly erased the security footage of their office and backlogged a computer failure complaint from his laptop. In his office, his files were perfectly replaced and a sticky note with a messy scrawl apologized for one disappearing with a hundred dollar bill stuck under it.

Nico needed an office transfer.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know this was going to turn into a series, but apparently the heart wants what it wants. I also didn't know it wanted Commander Rogers, but apparently it does
> 
> Find me and more silly things [here](https://abarbaricyalp.tumblr.com/)


End file.
